I’ve been thinking, perhaps the Baltimore Orioles should consider changing their name. After all, it’s racist. In the interest of equity and fairness to all other species of our avian buddies, I’m thinking they should change it to the Baltimore Birds, honoring equally all species of avia.
But then I got to thinking that there are flying mammals, too. Flying squirrels, bats, sugar babies, etc., for example. Claiming the ability to fly is also racist, because it’s exclusionary of other airborne species than just birds. So then, we should perhaps consider the Baltimore Airbornes.
Then I got to thinking that title is exclusionary of all of the oppressed ground-dwellers. Singling out only the airborne animals is racist. So, in the interest of equity and fairness, maybe call the ball team the Baltimore Animals.
Then I got to thinking that title is exclusive to fauna only, and the flora are excluded, which is, of course, racist. I’m thinking that they should rename the team the Baltimore Living Things, in the interest of equity.
Then I got to thinking that title excludes and singles out inanimate objects, which is naturally racist. So now I’m thinking, in the interest of complete equity, the team should be renamed the Baltimore Things.
Then I got to thinking that … oh, never mind. I think I’ve had a little too much to think tonight.